alpaca keeps cool

Love - Les Miserables

Extract from “Les Miserables” - Victor Hugo 

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves. 

Early relationship

At the end of the day, you know it is you I say good morning and good night to every day. You know enough.

Andrew Waller

Nothing unusual - a personal experience of a stroke

A midday snooze was nothing unusual before leaving for work. I look at my iPhone and momentarily I have double vision and perhaps nothing unusual. Down the stairs I stumble a little but nothing unusual. Maybe I hadn't got my bearings right so soon after waking up. I sit on the sofa. I try to talk but a strange noise comes from my mouth. I try talking but my thoughts convert into this noise. I cry. I can't control what is happening. My voice returns. Part of me feels things are back to normal, but I'm not sure. I'm taken to hospital and I am observed. I'm still talking. I'm told to return the following day for a MRI scan. A nurse waits with me for transport. I have a terribly bad headache and the nurse asks for permission from a doctor to administer tablets. Within seconds of swallowing the pills, the pain eases off. No sooner my voice is replaced with that horrible noise. I'm conscious and able to understand what is going on. The doctor returns and tells me that I won't be going home that night and I'll be admitted to the hospital.

I have the scan the following day. The noise from the scanner is louder and more harrowing than the noise from my mouth. Back on the ward, I notice a sign that reads ACUTE STROKE UNIT. I don't know why I am still on this ward. Maybe it's for people who have had strokes. That can't be me. Maybe it's just a precaution. The following day, a Saturday, I ask a nurse to tell me what was found on the scan. I want to go home to the children. A consultant will discuss with me on the Monday. Hold on, I say, that I have a scar on my brain from birth and I hope they are not thinking it's something recent. Eventually, the nurse shows me the scan. She points to a small area that, indeed, is the old scar. She then points to a larger area and says this indicates that I've had a stroke.

Oh shit!

I tried to read something in a newspaper. My eyes don't feel quite right. Eventually, after practice, I can read the words. I start reading a story about Amanda Redman. Hold on, who's subbed this. It doesn't make any sense. Slowly, I read every word. Yes, I can see them. They just don't make sense. No, it's me. This what I'm supposed to be able to do for a living. Am I screwed? Is this it? I've sent emails to colleagues that I've had a stroke but I'm fine and I'll be OK. Reading those messages months later I realise how little sense they made.

As I sat in hospital for my week's stay, I had an inspirational thought. I said to myself that I had to imagine that I was like the world's best footballer, like Ronaldo, who had just suffered a broken leg. I thought that he won't score a goal or play a match the next day. Maybe he'll recover in days, weeks or months. But, most certainly, I said to myself, with practice he'd come back.

Nothing unusual.

Andrew Waller who suffered a stroke on April 10, 2014

Panama City Beach

YOU'RE eating dolphin, was the rather unexpected reply as I enquire about the identity of the delicious, slightly sweet-tasting fish filling of my taco.I stopped eating momentarily and thought how could I look my children in the eye and confess to feasting on mates of Flipper or Fungie?I was assured, however,  that mahi mahi is more of a distant cousin and bore little resemblance to its more loveable relative.Just as well - because I savoured every morsel of the favourite local dish as I looked out over the Gulf of Mexico here in Panama City Beach.

Tucked away to the side of Florida's 'pan handle', this resort is where hordes of Americans from the south eastern states take their vacation. And with 43 kilometres of sugar sand beach at their disposal, who can blame them?

The area is largely unknown beyond the US. But there is plenty of room to join the party and loads to do. Three inflight movies took care of the eight-hour flight from Dublin to Atlanta before a one-hour trip - with onboard wifi - completed the journey to the new Northwest Florida Beaches airport.

America's reputation for doing everything on a big scale showed no sign of wanting. Feeling peckish on my arrival, I ordered a 'large' chicken panini with pesto sauce. It was a feast unto its own.

Panama City Beach has a wholesome, homely feel - the kind of sentiment you attach to that favourite childhood holiday seaside resort.

Funfairs, waterparks, dolphins and plenty of beach - all the type of things that kids just happily spend hours doing without the ordeal of big theme parks.

I stayed in a condo - a sprawling 18th floor self-contained apartment at the Calypso Resort with stunning balcony views of the gulf. The abundance of these condos with beachside pools and bars reinforces the stamp of approval from the natives. Rather like Spanish villas, they are either owned outright by Americans families as holiday homes or rented for as needed.

There's always a certain piece of music that you hear on holiday that you forever associate with that place. Demi Lovato's Heart Attack was regularly blaring from my hire car radio.  The record title wasn't far from my mind as a contemplated breakfast at Sunnyside Grill. On the plate in front of me was biscuit and sausage gravy. Excuse me? I can do sweet and savoury separately but chunky shortbreads soaked in a meaty sauce? My tastebuds were in total confusion. I nibbled through a quarter of the serving before reverting to my fried beach hash with jalapeños and cheese. It was the salad option by comparison.

How would I cope with this calorific bombardment?

After all, just the previous night I was tucking into a BLT - bacon, lobster and tomato in these parts - at the Caribbean and Cajun themed Boatyard restaurant. The incredibly thick doorstep slices combined to provide seemingly enough bread and fish for a biblical feast. Out of politeness, I took home most of the meal in a takeaway box but where I would find room for it, heaven knows.

With a tinge of guilt still lurking in my mind about the dolphin delicacy, I headed off to the Gulf World Marine Park where the more familiar bottlenecks and rough toothed dolphins were on show. Once again, my mind was put at rest that mahi, mahi really was OK to eat. Just as well, as we delighted in watching the dolphin show featuring three newborn babies swimming alongside their mummies and the most hilarious of sea lions. The park, which is a marine rehabilitation centre, also houses other wounded and unwanted creatures ranging from a swearing, waving parrot to turtles and snakes.

There was more fun for the kids at the Shipwreck Island Water Park with its giant speed slides, a rapid river ride, zoom flume hill, pools and a pirate ship to jump from. Thousands of people were there during my visit and yet there were no long queues for rides. There were plenty of places to eat, drink and relax. They also have lockers - so you're free to explore without all your belongings in tow.

Children can enjoy  fairground rides experienced by their parents and grandparents at the Miracle Strip in Pier Park. Carousels, swings and car rides from the 1950s and 1960s have been reassembled in this delightful retro attraction. On its way next year, from that era, is the large wooden-built Starliner rollercoaster - the oldest of its kind in Florida. Families should also try out Wonder Works - an upside down building full of scientific wonders including a hurricane hut and shove game controlled by brainwave sensors. Your balance is thrown into total disarray in the inversion tunnel. I found myself clutching at the rail to stop toppling over as the kaleidoscope-type walls spun around me. The path hadn’t moved at all. My brain was just convinced it was.

Over at Andy’s Flour Power - where they serve the most scrummy rolled omelettes, there is also the sense of family loyalty - as generations  frequent the breakfast cafe.

With so much coast and ripe conditions, Panama City Beach is also a favourite with surfers. I enjoyed a stand-up paddling lesson with Waves 2 You - a company that visits you armed with a van load of surf boards and equipment for the experience.

St Andrews state park sprawls 700 acres of parkland, lakes and shore - perfect for a getaway camping, fishing or cycling trip. I learnt the technique of calling an alligator - a clicking sound in your throat. Even though I was safely on a raised area, I was kind of relieved I didn’t trigger a stampede towards me. A conservation park just at the edge of Panama City Beach feels like miles away from nearby traffic and is ideal for a lunchtime stroll or cycle.

You can take in some lively night-time entertainment at Schooners - hailed as the ‘last local beach bar’. Bartenders ring a ship bell to reflect the generosity of tips while there is also the nightly ritual of cannon firing out to sea. I was impressed by the Deep South drawl of the live performers - but then it dawned on me...that’s where I was.

ANDREW WALLER

honesttravelguy.com

Andrew Waller travelled with Delta from Dublin (www.delta.com) and stayed at the Calypso Resort in Panama City Beach www.sterlingresorts.com.

See also:

www.visitpanamacitybeach.com

www.gulfworldmarinepark.com

www.waves2u.com

www.wonderworkspcb.com

Las Vegas

DON'T squander the family fortune came the request from home as I set off on trip to Las Vegas. There was never really any danger of any shirt being lost from my back as my run of successful flutters in my youth ended when I started raising the stakes higher than loose change.
And, in any case, as my Filipino taxi driver along The Strip advised: "There is a lot going on in Vegas these days. Gordon Ramsay has three restaurants here. It is not all about the gambling"
True. But my mind was contemplating a risk of a different nature as my helicopter took off to tour the Grand Canyon. I felt like a sphere in a ball pit - gently bobbing from the gush of air beneath.
The apprehension soon evaporated as we were guided across the Arizona desert to the awesome spectacle scaling and plunging close to the vast rocks like a scene from an Indiana Jones movie.  We also had a close-up view of the Hoover Dam whose construction workers' earnings baptised Vegas as a den of vice and gambling.

Such was the vast expanse of the territory it felt as though the helicopter was hovering in midair  and not hurtling along at 280kph. Shortly after we toured the dam, our pilot gestured towards the rocky range ahead and proudly announced: "Any moment, you'll see the Grand Canyon." And there it was in all its ruddy splendour. The seemingly motionless feel of the helicopter simply added to the sense of awe.
You can also see the Canyon by plane or by road but neither option offers such spectacular views and the alternative air transport does not stop-off.

The car option involves an eight-hour round trip compared to one hour in the chopper from the edge of the city. We landed for a champagne lunch  on a 450 metre ledge just beyond the skywalk and peered down at the Colorado River. You'll pay $350 per person for this simply amazing and unforgettable experience. For best photos, avoid the intensely bright sunlight of midday. 
Back in Sin City, I discover how most directions in hotels start with the words "First go through the casino and then..." It was unbelievable how many times you hear this instruction, putting temptation literally in your path. The most hilarious example was when I looked for a route to the overhead monorail station I could see in front of me on the other side of the road. 

Donny Osmond on screen as he performed at Caesars Palace

A signpost pointed me into the +MGM Grand Hotel & Casino. Surely, there would be a subway just in the entrance?  Not a chance. I was helpfully directed "the full length of the casino" before passing through a shopping mall and restaurants and finally reaching the short trip underground. At five dollars  a pop to use the monorail, it is a handy way to travel up and down The Strip and beyond.
After gambling, Vegas is next synonymous with entertainment. And while Celine Dion is resident Queen Bee at +Caesars Palace, Donny and Marie Osmond are still great value. Donny, in particular, proved he could keep up with the routines of dancers at least his age.

I'm sure legendary Vegas crooner Sinatra would be proud of Clint Holmes. There was a lump in my throat and hairs stood up on back of my neck to his rendition of West Side Story's There's A Place For Us. I also enjoyed Million Dollar Quartet - they really do sound and look like Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins and Jerry Lewis - Frankie Moreno and Jersey Boys. Matt Goss is also performing at Caesars and, to his credit, sounds a lot better than when he was more 'famous' over here.
I took in some comedy with Rob Becker's former Broadway one-man show Defending The Caveman. His humour about the sexes travels well. He explains how when he visits another couple with his wife, the women engage in extensive chat while his male host's entire repertoire for the evening will be: "Come out the back and I'll show you something."

I stayed at the Aria which dripped with luxury. There were bars, restaurants, a theatre, a gym and just about every form of gambling imaginable. My room included a remote control tablet allowing me to set a wake-up routine involving a bell, the TV turning on to my preset channel  and the curtains opening. How did I get to the lifts for my floor? Straight through the casino, of course.

MUST DOS

Give tips. It is considered the norm in the US - even when you buy a drink at the bar. A dollar a drink is a rule of thumb. Credit card payment machines in taxis give you the option of tips of 20, 30 or 40 per cent. Pay cash if you think that is too much.  


MUST DON'TS

Don't take a taxi somewhere without knowing how you will get back. You can't hail taxis on the street in the US. It is no fun walking for miles in 100 degrees heat with no sign of a bus. I was only going to buy a Club Penguin card from Toys R Us for my daughter. 


USEFUL WEBSITES

Helicopter rides - papillon.com
Airline - delta.com
Hotel - arialasvegas.com

MORE PHOTOS OF GRAND CANYON FROM HELICOPTER

Ireland, where?

I WAS confronted by a woman at Atlanta airport who wanted to enrol me for a customer loyalty scheme.
HER: Good afternoon sir. Can I interest you in our loyalty scheme to save money on you next flight?
ME: Hi there. I don't think I qualify as I don't live here.
HER: Well, where are you from?
ME: I'm from London but I live in Ireland.
HER: Ireland? Hmm. Is that Ireland in Virginia?
ME: No. It's Ireland as in, er, (trying to help) the country next to England where London is.
HER: (Looking puzzled as if I had just referred to a newly discovered planet): Well OK. You have a nice day.
ME: You too!