honesttravelguy.com
'It's a s***hole,' he explains to accomplice Ken (Brendan Gleeson) adding that he might only be interested in the place if he had grown up on a farm and was retarded. Thank goodness Ken and crime boss Terry (Ralph Fiennes) are more appreciative of the cobblestoned medieval Flemish city.
Now cargo-laden ports don't tend to be the most inspiring of places but I arrived at Zeebrugge aboard the Azura cruiser. The vessel, one of P&O's largest passenger ships, is staggeringly impressive. Even our Col might have been left speechless.
My adventure started the previous day when, after a short flight from Dublin, I arrived at Southampton. As my taxi neared the quayside, I was aware of the huge ship that dwarfed the tallest of neighbouring buildings. 'There SHE is,' announced my driver with that proud emphasis on the gender of the city's guest. As a novice to holidays afloat
I kind of imagined that as I was on a 'mini cruise', perhaps I would be staying on a smaller ship for the two nights rather than grander vessels that would grace the oceans. I couldn't have been more wrong. At 290 metres, the Azura is just over double the length of the Croke Park pitch and had just returned from a cruise of the Med.
I felt as though I was in the middle of film set of a ship on its maiden voyage. Hundreds of locals excitedly milled around the departure building as they waited to board the Azura for a tour and lunch before seafaring passengers took to their cabins. Back in the film,
What better welcome could you wish for than the bottle of champagne in the ice bucket in my deluxe cabin. I checked out the view from my balcony before setting about exploring this city on water. There are so many facilities on board I think you would need a world cruise to make use of them all. Restaurants, shops, a casino, an art gallery - it is all there including a swimming pool next to a giant outdoor cinema screen.
Maybe I cricked my neck looking up at the 19 decks, but I decided to plump for a bit of pampering at the Oasis spa and health club. I had a Thai poultice massage. It is a treatment which dates back to care for 14th century soldiers in Thailand. A combination of hot rocks and herbal therapy sent me into a trance of childhood memories.
I was also trying to roll back the years with a face pack and shave designed to rejuvenate my ageing visage! All this relaxation was making me hungry and with a choice of nine restaurants and ten bars, it wasn't too difficult to find somewhere I liked.
You get to meet some interesting people around the table. I got chatting to five women, including a lapdancing club boss from Birmingham, who met each other on holiday five years ago and have travelled all over the world together ever since.
It was hard to imagine any hotel or holiday destination where you would be so close to just about anything you could wish to do. There were even golf nets on the top deck, kids' play areas and pub quizzes.
And there was the chance to dress up on the black tie night. I practised things to say to the captain in case he saddled up to my table. 'You handle the old girl very well' perhaps or maybe 'what's your choice for Desert Island Discs?' My preparations were in vain but the food on both nights was fit for the top brass. For the record, we dined at the Indian fusion restaurant Sindhu on the first night. Great food created by Michelin-starred chef Atul Kochhar. I tucked into a delicious steak at the 'fine cuisine' Seventeen restaurant the following night.
After dinner there was still time to enjoy the Freddie Mercury tribute act and the sounds of the 70s or find a quiet spot in a bar for a nightcap. The music was brilliant, I just couldn’t get some of those oldies out of my head for days...’Take good care of yourself, take good care of yourself’ (aahhh, it is still there).
The great thing about this mini cruise is that all the sailing takes place at night.
And so a new day and we arrive in Bruges. We docked at Zeebrugge before taking a 30-minute transfer by train and coach. Was I going to agree with Ray (Farrell) or Ken (Gleeson)?
There was also that strong blend of French, German and Dutch cultures - perfect for a festive visit.
I know which way my vote went.
You can also enjoy a boat ride on a canal or visit one of the many churches - including the Jerusalem, scene of the In Bruges action. Gleeson does the place proud with his appreciation in the film. Even mobster Terry says it is a ‘fairytale’.
But, just like a day out in the actor’s home city, you're advised to take a brolly.
honesttravelguy.com
POOR old Bruges. What on Earth did it do to deserve such a slating from Colin Farrell's character Ray in the film In Bruges?
'It's a s***hole,' he explains to accomplice Ken (Brendan Gleeson) adding that he might only be interested in the place if he had grown up on a farm and was retarded. Thank goodness Ken and crime boss Terry (Ralph Fiennes) are more appreciative of the cobblestoned medieval Flemish city.
Now cargo-laden ports don't tend to be the most inspiring of places but I arrived at Zeebrugge aboard the Azura cruiser. The vessel, one of P&O's largest passenger ships, is staggeringly impressive. Even our Col might have been left speechless.
My adventure started the previous day when, after a short flight from Dublin, I arrived at Southampton. As my taxi neared the quayside, I was aware of the huge ship that dwarfed the tallest of neighbouring buildings. 'There SHE is,' announced my driver with that proud emphasis on the gender of the city's guest. As a novice to holidays afloat
I kind of imagined that as I was on a 'mini cruise', perhaps I would be staying on a smaller ship for the two nights rather than grander vessels that would grace the oceans. I couldn't have been more wrong. At 290 metres, the Azura is just over double the length of the Croke Park pitch and had just returned from a cruise of the Med.
I felt as though I was in the middle of film set of a ship on its maiden voyage. Hundreds of locals excitedly milled around the departure building as they waited to board the Azura for a tour and lunch before seafaring passengers took to their cabins. Back in the film,
Farrell's character ponders that a possible definition of Hell would be having to stay in Bruges forever. Well, I bet even Colin himself would be impressed with the divine lifestyle on board en route.
What better welcome could you wish for than the bottle of champagne in the ice bucket in my deluxe cabin. I checked out the view from my balcony before setting about exploring this city on water. There are so many facilities on board I think you would need a world cruise to make use of them all. Restaurants, shops, a casino, an art gallery - it is all there including a swimming pool next to a giant outdoor cinema screen.
Maybe I cricked my neck looking up at the 19 decks, but I decided to plump for a bit of pampering at the Oasis spa and health club. I had a Thai poultice massage. It is a treatment which dates back to care for 14th century soldiers in Thailand. A combination of hot rocks and herbal therapy sent me into a trance of childhood memories.
I was also trying to roll back the years with a face pack and shave designed to rejuvenate my ageing visage! All this relaxation was making me hungry and with a choice of nine restaurants and ten bars, it wasn't too difficult to find somewhere I liked.
You get to meet some interesting people around the table. I got chatting to five women, including a lapdancing club boss from Birmingham, who met each other on holiday five years ago and have travelled all over the world together ever since.
It was hard to imagine any hotel or holiday destination where you would be so close to just about anything you could wish to do. There were even golf nets on the top deck, kids' play areas and pub quizzes.
And there was the chance to dress up on the black tie night. I practised things to say to the captain in case he saddled up to my table. 'You handle the old girl very well' perhaps or maybe 'what's your choice for Desert Island Discs?' My preparations were in vain but the food on both nights was fit for the top brass. For the record, we dined at the Indian fusion restaurant Sindhu on the first night. Great food created by Michelin-starred chef Atul Kochhar. I tucked into a delicious steak at the 'fine cuisine' Seventeen restaurant the following night.
After dinner there was still time to enjoy the Freddie Mercury tribute act and the sounds of the 70s or find a quiet spot in a bar for a nightcap. The music was brilliant, I just couldn’t get some of those oldies out of my head for days...’Take good care of yourself, take good care of yourself’ (aahhh, it is still there).
The great thing about this mini cruise is that all the sailing takes place at night.
And so a new day and we arrive in Bruges. We docked at Zeebrugge before taking a 30-minute transfer by train and coach. Was I going to agree with Ray (Farrell) or Ken (Gleeson)?
Let's see - strong lager, chocolates, seafood, waffles, cobbled streets...
There was also that strong blend of French, German and Dutch cultures - perfect for a festive visit.
I know which way my vote went.
You can also enjoy a boat ride on a canal or visit one of the many churches - including the Jerusalem, scene of the In Bruges action. Gleeson does the place proud with his appreciation in the film. Even mobster Terry says it is a ‘fairytale’.
And as Farrell's character would say there is plenty of museums and 'stuff' to visit.
But, just like a day out in the actor’s home city, you're advised to take a brolly.
honesttravelguy.com
TRAVEL TO BRUGES
Transatlantic crossing to or from New York City on the Cunard Queen Mary 2 starts from just €799.
Andrew travelled aboard the Azura with P&O Cruises. For details of all cruises travelling from Ireland, visit thomascook.ie/cruise
Transatlantic crossing to or from New York City on the Cunard Queen Mary 2 starts from just €799.
4 RESTAURANTS TO TRY
restaurantdestove.be
devlaamschepot.be
dekarmeliet.be
pieterpourbus.com
5 HOTELS TO STAY
hotel-heritage.com
dekrakele.be
hotelcentral.be
reserveotel.com
accorhotels.com
MUST DO
Hire a bike. The place is very cycle-friendly. Don't be put off by the cobblestone streets.
MUST NOT DO
Hire a taxi. You'd be hard-pressed to find one and, if you do, they are very expensive.
devlaamschepot.be
dekarmeliet.be
pieterpourbus.com
5 HOTELS TO STAY
hotel-heritage.com
dekrakele.be
hotelcentral.be
reserveotel.com
accorhotels.com
MUST DO
Hire a bike. The place is very cycle-friendly. Don't be put off by the cobblestone streets.
MUST NOT DO
Hire a taxi. You'd be hard-pressed to find one and, if you do, they are very expensive.
