YOU'RE eating dolphin, was the rather unexpected reply as I enquire about the identity of the delicious, slightly sweet-tasting fish filling of my taco.I stopped eating momentarily and thought how could I look my children in the eye and confess to feasting on mates of Flipper or Fungie?I was assured, however, that mahi mahi is more of a distant cousin and bore little resemblance to its more loveable relative.Just as well - because I savoured every morsel of the favourite local dish as I looked out over the Gulf of Mexico here in Panama City Beach.
Tucked away to the side of Florida's 'pan handle', this resort is where hordes of Americans from the south eastern states take their vacation. And with 43 kilometres of sugar sand beach at their disposal, who can blame them?
The area is largely unknown beyond the US. But there is plenty of room to join the party and loads to do. Three inflight movies took care of the eight-hour flight from Dublin to Atlanta before a one-hour trip - with onboard wifi - completed the journey to the new Northwest Florida Beaches airport.
America's reputation for doing everything on a big scale showed no sign of wanting. Feeling peckish on my arrival, I ordered a 'large' chicken panini with pesto sauce. It was a feast unto its own.
Panama City Beach has a wholesome, homely feel - the kind of sentiment you attach to that favourite childhood holiday seaside resort.
Funfairs, waterparks, dolphins and plenty of beach - all the type of things that kids just happily spend hours doing without the ordeal of big theme parks.
I stayed in a condo - a sprawling 18th floor self-contained apartment at the Calypso Resort with stunning balcony views of the gulf. The abundance of these condos with beachside pools and bars reinforces the stamp of approval from the natives. Rather like Spanish villas, they are either owned outright by Americans families as holiday homes or rented for as needed.
There's always a certain piece of music that you hear on holiday that you forever associate with that place. Demi Lovato's Heart Attack was regularly blaring from my hire car radio. The record title wasn't far from my mind as a contemplated breakfast at Sunnyside Grill. On the plate in front of me was biscuit and sausage gravy. Excuse me? I can do sweet and savoury separately but chunky shortbreads soaked in a meaty sauce? My tastebuds were in total confusion. I nibbled through a quarter of the serving before reverting to my fried beach hash with jalapeños and cheese. It was the salad option by comparison.
How would I cope with this calorific bombardment?
After all, just the previous night I was tucking into a BLT - bacon, lobster and tomato in these parts - at the Caribbean and Cajun themed Boatyard restaurant. The incredibly thick doorstep slices combined to provide seemingly enough bread and fish for a biblical feast. Out of politeness, I took home most of the meal in a takeaway box but where I would find room for it, heaven knows.
With a tinge of guilt still lurking in my mind about the dolphin delicacy, I headed off to the Gulf World Marine Park where the more familiar bottlenecks and rough toothed dolphins were on show. Once again, my mind was put at rest that mahi, mahi really was OK to eat. Just as well, as we delighted in watching the dolphin show featuring three newborn babies swimming alongside their mummies and the most hilarious of sea lions. The park, which is a marine rehabilitation centre, also houses other wounded and unwanted creatures ranging from a swearing, waving parrot to turtles and snakes.
There was more fun for the kids at the Shipwreck Island Water Park with its giant speed slides, a rapid river ride, zoom flume hill, pools and a pirate ship to jump from. Thousands of people were there during my visit and yet there were no long queues for rides. There were plenty of places to eat, drink and relax. They also have lockers - so you're free to explore without all your belongings in tow.
Children can enjoy fairground rides experienced by their parents and grandparents at the Miracle Strip in Pier Park. Carousels, swings and car rides from the 1950s and 1960s have been reassembled in this delightful retro attraction. On its way next year, from that era, is the large wooden-built Starliner rollercoaster - the oldest of its kind in Florida. Families should also try out Wonder Works - an upside down building full of scientific wonders including a hurricane hut and shove game controlled by brainwave sensors. Your balance is thrown into total disarray in the inversion tunnel. I found myself clutching at the rail to stop toppling over as the kaleidoscope-type walls spun around me. The path hadn’t moved at all. My brain was just convinced it was.
Over at Andy’s Flour Power - where they serve the most scrummy rolled omelettes, there is also the sense of family loyalty - as generations frequent the breakfast cafe.
With so much coast and ripe conditions, Panama City Beach is also a favourite with surfers. I enjoyed a stand-up paddling lesson with Waves 2 You - a company that visits you armed with a van load of surf boards and equipment for the experience.
St Andrews state park sprawls 700 acres of parkland, lakes and shore - perfect for a getaway camping, fishing or cycling trip. I learnt the technique of calling an alligator - a clicking sound in your throat. Even though I was safely on a raised area, I was kind of relieved I didn’t trigger a stampede towards me. A conservation park just at the edge of Panama City Beach feels like miles away from nearby traffic and is ideal for a lunchtime stroll or cycle.
You can take in some lively night-time entertainment at Schooners - hailed as the ‘last local beach bar’. Bartenders ring a ship bell to reflect the generosity of tips while there is also the nightly ritual of cannon firing out to sea. I was impressed by the Deep South drawl of the live performers - but then it dawned on me...that’s where I was.
ANDREW WALLER
honesttravelguy.com
Andrew Waller travelled with Delta from Dublin (www.delta.com) and stayed at the Calypso Resort in Panama City Beach www.sterlingresorts.com.
See also:
www.gulfworldmarinepark.com
www.waves2u.com
www.wonderworkspcb.com
